emotional
I am too emotional. My brain does too much flip-flopping. Or I’m just way to fucking insecure.
Its been exactly one month today. Not that I am one of those girls who calculates like every little thing. I honestly had to look at the calendar the other day and actually figure it out. Simply because I am me. And I have my issues. One being that its officially one month and things are starting to feel … shaky. I don’t know which way they’re heading anymore.
In the beginning and after his ‘perfect’ speech. And the ‘oops’ everything pretty much been…on a different track.
Like.
I just don’t feel as though he wants it. Or I feel like now he’s backing off some. IDK. I really do suck with vibes and shit.
Maybe its me?
But its been a month since today. And I never have track record of guys lasting past this month. However I do have a couple things going for me.
Arg.
I hate this feeling. This feeling of uncertainty. I mean why do I even care? Like care enough to have to analyze it over and over in my head? Its not like I want him to come popping up with the whole ‘boyfriend’/’girlfriend’ question. I definitely feel like I wanna be in more of a … IDK .. deeper like or love before that happens. Or at least give it another 3-4 months before we go there. Is that harsh? Is that wrong? IDK. I feel as though he doesn’t get me yet. He doesn’t know ME yet.
So.
No I am counting down. When will he break it off? I won’t. I like him and I like him. And that’s all I got. I’m willing to work it :) without the labels. That I am good at. I think I am starting to fear commitment.
